#hotdogs #mustard #ketchup #datesgonewrong #date #crazy #a-hole #a-holesanonymous #dirk #wtf #scaryguy
I love the process of getting ready for a first date. The possibilities are endless. Will we get along? Will we start dating? Is he going to kiss me? The butterflies that tend to build the closer it gets to the actual date are fantastic. Then there is the question of what to wear. You basically size up a relative stranger to decide whats appropriate. You don’t want to be too fancy and make him feel bad for not dressing up enough. You also don’t want to be a bum. I tend to go off of the place we are going. I judge how hot to get by where he is taking me. If we are going to Katana and then a posh bar after I will lean towards a basic dress with heels or boots. However, if it’s Umami Burger followed by a wine bar then skinny jeans and some heels. If someone asks you to the movies on a first date that isn’t really a good sign. Because a first date is all about getting to know the other person and seeing if you have enough in common to want to hang out again. You can’t really do this while sitting next to each other looking at strangers talk on a movie screen.
SO-This cutie from the gym that has been flirting with me finally asked me out. He first approached me after a hip hop class. The gym in Hollywood I workout at has floor to ceiling windows behind the class giving all the guys working out with weights a prime view of us shaking it. This particular class leans more towards sexy hip hop than breaker hip hop. I like both styles and I have been dancing them for a long time. I get the routines quickly and put my own flavor on them. Being asked out after this class happens to me every now and then. A few weeks back a super nervous Tall hottie came up to me and introduced himself. We ran into each other a couple more times then finally he asks me if I want to catch a drink somewhere local in Hollywood. I figure my style would be casual with heels. The date started off well enough. Good conversation he seems like a total sweetheart. He suggests one of my favorite spots the Piano Bar: Score! We are about an hour and a half in to the date when he kisses me. Okay, not ideal timing but what the hell. Then he kisses me again. Thing is his kisses were way too much, kinda aggressive. I turn my whole body away from him to watch the band. I am looking to the left and he is sitting on my right. He grabs my head and literally turns it towards him then sticks his tongue down my throat. Whoa buddy!! I pull back and say “easy there tiger” with a smile. I decide I need a change of scenery and a weapon. Lets go play pool! That way we have an activity and I have a stick. Anyone who knows pool knows there are a few simple rules winner keeps the table and the new player has a chance to take it from him. So when our quarters are up Gym Guy is in the bathroom and I rack the balls. Upon his return he gets pretty bothered that I am playing with another guy. Me and the guy try and explain the rules to him and he doesn’t really get it. He then starts to push beer down my throat. Literally pushing my drink towards me so I drink more. I say I have to work early in the morning and I need to go home. On the drive he is trying to convince me to come back to his place and watch a move. I am wondering in my head “what part of this date seemed like it was going well?” I say no thanks and he becomes a jerk. We are at a stop light a couple blocks from my place and I call him out. I say “are you really being a dick because I won’t come home with you on our first date?” He says nothing. I say “alrighty than,” open my car door, exit the vehicle and proceed to walk home. WOW. Who knew someone seemingly so sweet would be such a dbag?!? Another one bites the dust I guess. I have a second date with a super nice guy tonight and I couldn’t be more excited. The guy is a total gentleman. I didn’t know after our first date if he would be too boring for me but after the jackass from the gym a kind gentleman is all I want. As usual I plan to report back. In the mean time- HAPPY DATING!!
Hell hath no furry like a women scorned….
It’s hard enough to be single at my age. What age is that you ask? I recently had a birthday and turned 25-30. That’s my Hollywood age in case you are confused. No really, I turned 28… again. I am at the age where all of my friends back home are married, or engaged to be married… mostly with children. Cute, cute f@$%ing children. I am no where near that stage in my life. It makes most people I know very confused as to how this is possible. I think this summer when I go home to Montana for yet another wedding, I will be wearing a fake wedding ring just to avoid the statement that consistently makes a mockery out of me- “I figured you of all people would be married to an amazing man by now Veronica.” If I have to explain that I just haven’t met the right guy yet and I am unwilling to settle one more time, I am buying a gun!! Not to mention that- I am pretty sure my parents are honestly preparing themselves for the day I come home and say “I’m Gay.” I wish it was that simple.
Last night, I had a second date with someone I have a deeper relationship with then just a random gentleman suitor. I thought he and I were friends. I met him a year ago and when he was visiting Los Angeles and we kept in touch. He recently moved out here and I have been thrilled to have him in my city. Mainly because I thought he was a great person. With absolutely NO expectations on the table we went out last weekend and the chemistry was great. We texted and spoke this week and he asked me out again. We even spoke (not texted) in the afternoon yesterday about what we were going to do and when we were going to meet up. I had another guy ask me out yesterday but I declined because I was looking forward to the date I had. My date was going to call me when he got out of the shower and we would hook up. So, I start getting ready. As I am curling my hair and picking out what to wear I look over and its getting on 8:30… no call. I am finishing up look over at the clock and it’s 9:15…. no call. As the episode of Lost that I am watching starts to get extremely convoluted so does my perception of the situation. I shoot him a call at 9:30 to see if maybe I need to bail him out of jail or if his apartment had caught on fire. My call is forwarded to voice mail… Are you kidding me?!? Wow, Okay.. deep breath. Is this guy really standing me up? Initially I am pissed… my mind is filled with visions of murder. However, I have been to jail and it is the absolute worst place ever!!!! In fact, that is one of my main goals in life- Avoid going back to jail- AT ALL COSTS! Shortly after the delusions of murder subside, the “what’s wrong with me” wave sets in. But the thing is, nothing is wrong with me in this situation. I am a great girl. I am fun, pretty, laid back and independent. I am truly at a loss. I feel pretty shitty about this situation but I will get over it because one thing is certain… guys are like buses in this city wait 15 minutes and another comes along. However, sometimes they are really like buses in this city, you can be all dressed up ready to go and the buss never shows, so you waist 20 bucks on a f@%$ing cab.
In the end I salvaged my night and went out with a buddy. He scooped me up and bought me seasoned french fries with ranch. Those made me feel better, they always do.
I suggest you go to Trade Joes’s and buy wet cat food ( it is 100% good for the cat with out chemicals) and feed him every time you come over. Trust me- cat’s are suckers for wet food. Eventually there will be an auto pavlovian response to your arrival that will make him love you. Good luck- remember at all cost’s don’t kick him.